Men Not Talking About Their Problems

Why don’t men talk about their problems?

Explanation 1: Cultural norms.

Explanation 2: On average, women naturally get more out of talking through problems. They then project their experience onto men. Men are naturally less compelled.


I think both are true. Cultural norms discourage too much openness amongst men. On average, men also get less out of talking through problems than women.

I’ve tried talking through problems with women. Not because I feel compelled, but because I think it’s what they want. Each time I’ve tried I felt worse. And no, I don’t think I ‘push them down’. 

We live amongst some dinosaurs with 60’s values. But in general, I think culture does a decent job on this. Excess openness is discouraged. Openness in the wrong context is discouraged. Don’t talk too much about your ex on first dates. Don’t cry about your problems with strangers. 

But on average, a pro athlete talking about mental health struggles is applauded. Some tears during a best-man speech are endearing.

Fans of ‘The Patriarchy’ to explain the world haven’t caught on. Culture changed a lot since the 70’s.

I don’t think they ever will. Among 7 billion or so people, there will always be examples of misogyny. Just like there will always be some theft.

Are Supplements Worth It?

I used to take heaps of supplements.

Then I realised we don’t know much about how supplements effect the body. It’s hard to track second order effects of an input into a complex system. Even if the science is done well.

So as a hedge against limited knowledge, I stopped ingesting things my ancestors wouldn’t have.

I still believe this, but I take supplements again.


Some pills provide energy. Using this energy, you might make better health choices. It might be the difference between eating a mound of cake or not. Using this energy, you might get more done. Getting more done can be good for the psyche.

Some pills help provide calm. Using this calmness, you might sleep better. It might result in less shitty thoughts. Less stress is healthy.

There’s a spectrum of risk with supplements. I’m still very conservative, but sometimes the tradeoff is worth it.

FYI some stuff I use: Lions Mane, Rhodiola, B Complex, Zinc, Magnesium, Ashwaganda, Carnityl, Creatine, MCT shots.

The Qualified Self

It’s a race against the clock.

Bill wants to get to the finish line, but there’s a wall in the way – a big one. Going around isn’t an option, so he generates as much momentum as possible, presses down with force and explodes skyward.


Again? No.

One more time? Nah.

Instead he jumps down some plumbing pipes, pops out the other side, runs to the next screen and saves the princess.

Billy is a 6 year old scientist.

He formulated a hypothesis: ‘To get past the wall I need to jump over it’. Billy conducted the experiment as best he could, but it didn’t yield the result he hoped (a different story if he chowed some shrooms earlier). He then formulated a new hypothesis, tested it and got the result he wanted.

Science is a word used to describe lots of different things. Done well it’s typically falsifiable (Popper), predictive (reproducibility) and has a hard to vary explanation (Deutsch).

Science is usually assumed rigorous. This prevents us from being scientific and asking questions about it. Instead, with a simple enough definition the scientific method is a natural mode of thought. It therefore predates science, humanity even.

This mode is a keeper, problem is it’s just one of many. So smart people double down on it.

Continue reading The Qualified Self