Why Don’t Men Talk About Their Problems?

Explanation 1: Cultural norms.

Explanation 2: On average, women naturally get more out of talking through problems. They then project their experience onto men. Men are naturally less compelled.


I think both are true. Cultural norms discourage too much openness amongst men. On average, men also get less out of talking through problems than women.

I’ve tried talking through problems with women. Not because I feel compelled, but because I think it’s what they want. Each time I’ve tried I felt worse. And no, I don’t think I ‘push them down’. 

We live amongst some dinosaurs with 60’s values. But in general, I think culture does a decent job on this. Excess openness is discouraged. Openness in the wrong context is discouraged. Don’t talk too much about your ex on first dates. Don’t cry about your problems with strangers. 

But on average, a pro athlete talking about mental health struggles is applauded. Some tears during a best-man speech are endearing.

Fans of ‘The Patriarchy’ to explain the world haven’t caught on. Culture changed a lot since the 70’s.

I don’t think they ever will. Among 7 billion or so people, there will always be examples of misogyny. Just like there will always be some theft.